Thursday, February 5, 2009

I Lied, And For That I Seek Forgiveness

What a day of college hoops yesterday!

Wake gets destroyed by Miami.

Notre Dame loses its sixth straight, this time at the merciless hands of Cincinnati.

And Duke gets completely embarrassed on national television by Clemson. Did anyone else see Kyle Singler in the closing seconds of the game, when his team was down by 27 points and Clemson was nonchalantly standing to run out the clock, punch the ball out of the hands of Clemson guard K.C. Rivers? Singler was of course demonstrating the fine sportsmanship he often sees on the sidelines when his coach whines, cries and complains when calls don't go in his favor. I guess Singler was just baffled by amount of physical play accepted and lack of charge fouls called by the refs, especially when he and his teammates put so much work into sliding across the floor after being barely bumped by an opposing player. Almost positive that the fraud and detriment to the game of basketball arrogantly known only as Coach K uses a slip n' slide in practice to help his guards rid themselves of any athletic skills that would otherwise lead to a lucrative professional career.

A loss in February, however, is what we have come to expect from an always over-hyped and over-rated Duke team. In the past five years, they have averaged 1.4 losses in November through January and 2.4 losses in the month of February alone.

But that is not why I am writing this post. I am actually writing to apologize to all the followers, casual observers and friends that periodically check-in to see if I have been institutionalized yet. I ask for forgiveness because the Hire Esherick blog is based on a lie. The purpose, mission and objective of this hastily put together collection of ridiculous ramblings is in fact built upon a foundation that has just crumbled to the ground. And while I too am completely in shock over the news that I am about to share, I feel it is my responsibility to bear and suffer the consequences. Ladies and gentlemen, boys, girls and other folks, hold your breath, fasten your seat belts and reach for the nearest bottle of spirits because Craig Esherick is actually gainfully employed.

My desires to hire Esherick are no longer valid. I feel like an explorer landing to greet the native people of a brand new land to only be told that Columbus had been there first. I am left with the same sense as the time that I was going to be the first to leave a mark on the bathroom stall of a New Jersey Turnpike rest stop only to see the heart wrenching scratch Tony Wuz Here. Damn you Columbus. And damn you Tony.

Craig Esherick is an Assistant Professor at George Mason University. Among his wide areas of academic interest are sports history, coaching, parenting and the leadership of athletes, and my favorite, the club sports system in Europe. I would not be left in such an exposed position now if only my daily Google searches for the man had yielded results earlier. But alas they did not, and I am left to contemplate my future, for if you as a reader cannot even trust the basis of the tablet upon which I scribe, how can you trust the etchings?


Good talk.

4 comments:

T^3 said...

B^2,

I could really go for one of those Roy Rogers chicken sandwiches that they keep under the heat lamp. Classic NJ Turnpike food.

T^3

blichman said...

I got an e-mail the other day from Ticketmaster with an offer to buy tickets to the NIT Final Four. Let me know if you would like me to forward it to you.

hi boliv said...

we can make the NIT final four?

B^2 said...

No we would probably lose to Seton Hall, again.